Archive for the ‘Thoughts, and observations’ Category

If you look at History all the worst dictators accomplished one thing , they divided the country against itself, look at what is going on in the US right now, our country is becoming more and more divided everyday. The media is being manipulated to focus on issues to get to not pay attention to what is really going on. The GOP fully backs tRump now, they want to outlaw abortion again, they want to reverse the decision on same sex marriage, they want to levy less and less taxes in the rich, the want Christianity to be added to our constitution. They believe tRump will help them accomplish this. They new focus is to cut all so called entitlements.

They are making these changes behind our backs while the media all focus on the major news of the day/week. Look at the news, and Social Networking, what is the main focus on right now, no one is talking about the Mueller Investigation, no one is talking about the Children who now number up to 10,000 and growing, the Feds are discussing building internment camps to house them, we haven’t had internment camps in the US since WWII when we went after the Japanese. Racism is on the rise again and the racists groups have come back out in the open.

We are losing all respect in the world, yes, the stock market is strong but who really benefits by that, not the average person, that is truly a rich mans game. Yes, unemployment is low, but wages are not a the levels they need to be. Housing, and Rent costs are growing out of control, inflation is at it’s highest level in six years, and predicted to grow to 10% due to all the tariffs.

Economists are predicting another recession sometime in 2020, because the current economy is not sustainable long term.

We are insulting every person who has been sexually assaulted or raped, even attacking them.

We are reversing pollution controls, we are no longer working on development of alternative energy sources, instead going back to focusing our dependence on fossil fuels.

I for one am truly concerned about our country, we need to somehow spread this concern across our country, that we are headed for disaster!

Okay time to get off of my soapbox.

Please feel free to copy and share.


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Just some thoughts today:

There are a lot of individuals out there today going through various struggles in their lives, some our physical, and visible, some are physical, and not visible at all. There are also people going through mental struggles, but we all have one thing in common, these struggles affect our daily lives, they are all life changing.

Sometimes we share our issues with our family, friends, and on Social Networks. I feel the reasons we share them, are not just to get sympathy, but for support of what we are going through, to also hear that others are experiencing similar struggles. Yes, life gives us all challenges, some experience greater challenges than others, some handle it differently than others. Most of us are really trying to get through this the best way we can. There are sadly even some who not only contemplate suicide, but even those who actually go though with it.

I am not here to say I have not thought about it, I have, but I would never do that to my wife, and family. The support and concern from others helps yet get past the suicidal thoughts, if that doesn’t help, some people need to get professional help to get through these thoughts.

The worst thing a person crying out needs to hear is “Suck it up, Buttercup,” “it is what it is.”

No one wants to get sick, no one wants to be disabled, no one wants to be on disability. All I ask is you try to see the world through their eyes, spending so much much time alone, giving up your freedom to drive, going out to public events, and trying to find things to entertain them, and help them have healthy thoughts.

If you want to really help, find out what they need, sometimes it could be just a nice phone conversation, even better yet, a visit just to talk, you see we spend a lot of time alone, and that is when the bad thoughts start coming into your head.

As for me , ore I once led a very social life, in my former job I was an upper level manager, traveled all over the country, talked to people from all walks of life, I really miss that. I miss being the bread winner for my family. All that has changed, my biggest struggle is the feelings of worthlessness.

Okay so I have opened up a little to you today, if this doesn’t help you understand more about me, maybe it will help you understand more about someone else you might know who is going through similar life challenges. If you don’t care that is fine to, just don’t say things that insult us.

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The other day I read a story about being the best Father you can be, it really made me think, maybe I wasn’t such a great father.

I tried to be a good father, I worked very hard to provide for my family, I didn’t have a college degree, and I wanted to go into management, so I did what ever it took to get ahead. Once I got into management my hours were long , twelve to sixteen hour days, and to top that off, we lived in Southern California so I had a 45 mile commute each way. I made the mistake of making my priorities of providing a new home, and material things for my family, and not really being there for them like I should have. I wanted all three of my girls to have the best opportunities available to them in regards to schooling, and life, but in the end I wasn’t there.

I do have three wonderful daughters, and a great wife, but I clearly made mistakes along the way, that I wish I could take back. The story I could talk about would take too long to go over it all.

My daughters all have their own families now, and I love them all very much, but the last six years have not been the greatest for me, and now I am disabled, with health issues of my own, and I wish I could do more for them than I can physically or monetarily. And it’s hard to accept, sometimes I feel like a failure.

Time to good bye for now, see you on my blog later. Peace, love, happiness, and positive vibes.

Always remember Rusty loves you!

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My world is all askew eight now. This has been a rough year for our family. My middle daughter was in a horrific accident a couple of months ago on an early rainslicked highway, where she lost control of her car, and hit the barrier wall, it could have been way worse, but she luckily escaped with bumps, bruises, and a very sore neck, unfortunately her car was totaled out, we are lucky she is still alive.

On April 13th while donating some food for a friends food drive, my wife and
I were injured in a freak accident with our car, she was run over by the right front tire over her left leg, and I was dragged approximately 20 feet and then run over by the left front tire, it ran over both legs, left me with a fractured fibula, and road rash over both legs and my hip, it has been a very slow healing process for both of us, my wife is back to work now, but I am still partially laid up, my wounds are painful, they got infected and not healing up very fast, even with extensive antibiotic therapy.

Then on April 24th my oldest daughter Marci was viciously attacked and sexually assaulted. She had come to visit my wife and I to spend the evening with us, she had not been able to visit due to health issues, and we were still homebound  due to our accident. She left out home a little after 11:00  PM, she was exiting off of the freeway on 90th South offramp, she was stopped at the light waiting to turn left, and a man jumped into her car in the left passenger seat, held what she thought was a gun to her head and instructed her to so exactly as her told her, or he would kill her. (Before you chastise her for not keeping her car locked, she thought it was, the automatic door locks had not worked properly, and her passanger door did not lock.) He instructed her to drive to to a local park in Sandy Ut, (Falcon Park 9200 S 1700 E, Sandy, UT 84093). He then had her climb into the back seat, he cut off her clothing, and then repeatedly slashed at her with a knife, while also beating her, he had taken off his, pants and suddenly a car pulled inot the parking lot of the park, and he shouted “oh fuck”, jumped out the car, put his pants back on and took off. I truely believe had the car not pulled in the parking lot, he would have raped her and most likely killed her.  She then drove herself to the ER, she did not want to stay in the area alone any longer, and called 911 from the ER parking lot.

Sandy police are still conducting a full ivestigation, and are still waiting for DNA results. They did as press release a couple of  days after the tragic incident, and I personally contacted all four local news stations 3 of which respnded to do a full report on the news, channel 13 here in Utah chose not to, intead they posted a partial report with thier own spin, that sounded very much like the police did not fully belive it ever happened. It did in fact happen, and I was there at the hospital that evening/early morning, I will never forget the sight of seeing my daughter laying in a hospital bed covered in blood with cuts and bruises all over her body, and yes the police were there in force.

Local news report

The police finally had a sketch artist conduct a composit sketch here it is with a brief description of the suspect.

So here is the composite sketch of the man that attacked my daughter. This sketch is almost 100% spot on. Again this happened on the night of April 24. The man was white had a black baseball cap with darker hair coming down from the back. He had a slender face and long skinny nose, he had a scab or a mole on his left cheek, a thin mustache and very crooked teeth, which the sketch artist drew those as well. At the time he was wearing a white tee-shirt with the letters ARC in red on the left, black jeans, dirty tan work boots, he also had a black zip up hoodie and was carrying a black backpack and he stunk really bad and had horrible breath. 5’11” approximately 200 lbs. The police are still investigating so if anyone sees a man that fits this description please call the Sandy Police Department right away. (801) 568-7200. Please help find the man that attacked my daughter so she can go on with her life! Please share this with everyone! Let’s make this go viral!



We need this to go out all over the internet, this bastard needs to be caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent the law allows. I hope all of you will share this, and make it go viral.

This incident and all the others have taken a heavy toll on myself and my family, this is some of my therapy indealing with all the recent tragedy in our lives, I hope you understand why I feel the to not let it all go, we are all working on getting our lives back to some form of normalcy, not that it ever was, but this helps a little.

Just want to say I love you all and thanks for taking the time to read this.


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Just trying to get my head wrapped around my life such as it is. 

Yesterday I turned 62, I really thought life at would be different for me than it is right now, not trying to beat a dead horse, but I grow weary  of the constant pain, not feeling good, and generally feeling older than my 62 years. 

Is it too much to ask for a more “normal” life? 

I want to work again, be the main breadwinner in our family,  feel respected more as a businessman again.  

I know that even though no one says it too my face, that is what they are thinking, he is lazy and living off the government, that wasn’t in my plans, I truly wanted more in my life than this. 

I am getting so tired of this, I wish there more I could do to change it. Maybe there is and I just haven’t discovered the key to fixing it.

Life goes on,and so will I, such as it is.
As always Rusty Loves you, peace, love, happiness,and positive vibes!

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Living life one day at a time:


Not trying to sound like a saint, or a crybaby, just telling a little of my story, as it is.


I will explain a little about what has happened to me in my life. My wife and I have been married over 43 years, we were very young, she was 17, and I was 18, we didn’t have any children for the first 4 and a half years, so we did get a chance to grow up a little.  We pretty much have always had kids or relatives living with us. Our oldest lived with us after she got married and stayed until 7 years ago, we have taken in stray kids that were friends of our three daughters, in 1997 we moved back to Utah from CA, and bought an old 7 bedroom farmhouse, it was a two story, with two kitchens, and after our oldest moved out we let me niece and her husband move in upstairs, also during that time, our youngest and her husband moved in with us for two years, out middle daughter also moved in and out three times, my wife’s niece was going to be homeless, and her and her 3 boys moved in for a year. we also helped a couple more of our daughters friends during their rough and trying times, by opening our house to them, seems like we were always the place for people we knew falling on hard times as a place to go, we never said no to anyone in need.

That all fell apart in 2011, when I lost my job and became disabled due to severe neuropathy. I still tried to find work to no avail, we sold everything we owned trying to stay in that house, finally losing it in 2013, we were forced to live with our middle daughter and her husband for a year, finally my disability money kicked in and we now live in a small 3 bedroom manufactured home, thought we were going to be alone when I found out an old business associate was going to be homeless, we let her move in for a few months. I still had that open door policy.

Then last March we took in our three youngest grandchildren, their lives have been very rough and each of them have their own special needs, the oldest has ADHD, the middle one is working through medical bowel issues, the youngest is autistic, so between doctors, school, counseling, and all the other things that come with raising 3 young children it has taken it’s toll on the two of us, to top that off in January of 2015, my father came back to UT, due to his health moved in with my sister, and because she still worked I became his chauffeur, working with the VA, and his doctor appointments, which averaged 8 a month, sometimes more, he passed away at 89 this last October, which again really affected me, because in the 19 months he was here our relationship grew closer then ever, but, I still had to take care of the grandkids, it didn’t leave me much time to grieve, that could have been good though.  It seems that our other grandkids have grown more distant from us, they used to come  and spend the weekends with us a couple of times a month, not sure if they are just growing up and and spending the night and Nana and Papa’s is not as fun anymore, but I do miss them a lot.  I do not mean to sound like a jerk, but I do appreciate the time when my daughter can take them, this is the first time in the year since we took them in that we have been without them for a week, so yes I am looking forward to some free time for just myself and my wife. I do love my family very much, and would do anything I could for them. I hope I didn’t bore you with the book I just wrote, I just wanted you to know where I am coming from, and all the while I still have my disability and I am in constant pain, but I live with that.


As always I will close with Rusty Loves you, peace, love, happiness, and positive vibes.

The grandkids are now with their Aunt Sarah until their Mom can take them. I am going to start working on myself, I have been told by a few people that I have aged a lot in that year, even my doctor told me I have to start taking better care of myself. So my goal for 2017 is to try to get my health back in the right track. 

I have a lot of issues to work through, I will keep you all updated as hopefully I progress to better things.

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My Blog today is inspired by listening to the song Abraham, Martin, and John, by Dion

Of course I wasn’t around when Lincoln was assassinated, but I do believe hate had a lot to do with it.


A lot has happened in my short lifetime.

The Viet Nam War started when I was to young to understand it, but by the time it was over I had many friends who fought in it, and even a few who died in it. It did affect a lot of my thoughts and actions over those trying times while it was going on.

Hovering U.S. Army helicopters pour machine gun fire into the tree line to cover the advance of South Vietnamese ground troops in an attack on a Viet Cong camp 18 miles north of Tay Ninh, northwest of Saigon near the Cambodian border, in March 1965 during the Vietnam War.  (AP Photo/Horst Faas)

Hovering U.S. Army helicopters pour machine gun fire into the tree line to cover the advance of South Vietnamese ground troops in an attack on a Viet Cong camp 18 miles north of Tay Ninh, northwest of Saigon near the Cambodian border, in March 1965 during the Vietnam War. (AP Photo/Horst Faas)

At 8 years old I cried when I my teacher informed us the John F Kennedy had been assassinated. I clearly remember that day, and even though I was only 8 I remember the entire nation in morning over his death, everyone wondering what will become of our country. I also remember the sadness, and fear on my parents faces that day, pretty powerful stuff for an 8 year old.


The 60’s were a different time, a lot of changes for me too, for the most part I was too young to really understand everything, but it did effect me, as I felt I had an enquiring mind, and did pay attention to it. Times were changing I was very interested in that.

I remember the day Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, people were upset, and concerned, but not so much as when Kennedy was, I feel was the racism issue, and even though he was a very great man, he has been much more appreciated later on for all of his accomplishments, my home state was the last state out of all 50 states to recognize his birthday as a holiday. Imagine how much more he could have accomplished had he not been taken from us.


And then two months later Bobby Kennedy was assassinated, I was actually watching TV that night and the coverage, my interest in politics was just starting, and even though I was too young to vote, I was becoming more aware of it.

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In 1969 I clearly remember watching Apollo 11 landing on the moon, with my parents, and Neil Armstrong uttering those words “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” A very amazing day for me.


Then some sadness in 1970 with the Kent State shootings, as sad as that was, kind of mild to what is going on today.

In the 70’s I got married at a very young age, voted in my first presidential election, moved to CA in 1973, back to Utah in 1975, back to CA in 1976, and then back to Utah again the ned of 1977. Growing up in in the Suburbs of Salt Lake City UT, didn’t prepare me for the diversity of Southern CA, for a time my young wife and I lived in Inglewood CA across from Hollywood Park Race Track, we both had a quick education of what life was like outside of UT. I am truly thankful for the times spent in CA it not only educated me to the real world, but changed my outlook for the better. We moved back again to CA in 1981 after our middle daughter Sarah was born, stayed until June of 1997. I continued to changed over those years and I feel I am a better person for it, the hate in me grew smaller and smaller, I am so much more open minded now, and so happy with our advancements in true equality, not where I would like to see them. We have stayed in Utah since moving back in 1997, now trying to decide if this is the final place for us, not really sure yet of what to do, most likely we will stay here, who knows.

There have been a lot of tragedies that have also occured, but not enough time to discuss all of them. A lot of positive changes too, like electing our first black president, and same sex marriage becoming legal.

I can truly say I really thought we had come a long way, in regards to racism, and biases, but lately I feel we still have a very long way to go.

That brings me to the end of my blog today, I am now in a state of concern, the next 4 years really scares me, too much uncertainty. I am living on a fixed income now due to my disability, yes my wife Melia still works, but not really sure what is in stage for the two of us, is it going to get better or worse, I guess we will have to wait and see. Please no haters on this blog, we have too much hate already.

As always, Rusty Loves You, peace, love happiness, and positive vibes!

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