Posts Tagged ‘love’

Living life one day at a time:


Not trying to sound like a saint, or a crybaby, just telling a little of my story, as it is.


I will explain a little about what has happened to me in my life. My wife and I have been married over 43 years, we were very young, she was 17, and I was 18, we didn’t have any children for the first 4 and a half years, so we did get a chance to grow up a little.  We pretty much have always had kids or relatives living with us. Our oldest lived with us after she got married and stayed until 7 years ago, we have taken in stray kids that were friends of our three daughters, in 1997 we moved back to Utah from CA, and bought an old 7 bedroom farmhouse, it was a two story, with two kitchens, and after our oldest moved out we let me niece and her husband move in upstairs, also during that time, our youngest and her husband moved in with us for two years, out middle daughter also moved in and out three times, my wife’s niece was going to be homeless, and her and her 3 boys moved in for a year. we also helped a couple more of our daughters friends during their rough and trying times, by opening our house to them, seems like we were always the place for people we knew falling on hard times as a place to go, we never said no to anyone in need.

That all fell apart in 2011, when I lost my job and became disabled due to severe neuropathy. I still tried to find work to no avail, we sold everything we owned trying to stay in that house, finally losing it in 2013, we were forced to live with our middle daughter and her husband for a year, finally my disability money kicked in and we now live in a small 3 bedroom manufactured home, thought we were going to be alone when I found out an old business associate was going to be homeless, we let her move in for a few months. I still had that open door policy.

Then last March we took in our three youngest grandchildren, their lives have been very rough and each of them have their own special needs, the oldest has ADHD, the middle one is working through medical bowel issues, the youngest is autistic, so between doctors, school, counseling, and all the other things that come with raising 3 young children it has taken it’s toll on the two of us, to top that off in January of 2015, my father came back to UT, due to his health moved in with my sister, and because she still worked I became his chauffeur, working with the VA, and his doctor appointments, which averaged 8 a month, sometimes more, he passed away at 89 this last October, which again really affected me, because in the 19 months he was here our relationship grew closer then ever, but, I still had to take care of the grandkids, it didn’t leave me much time to grieve, that could have been good though.  It seems that our other grandkids have grown more distant from us, they used to come  and spend the weekends with us a couple of times a month, not sure if they are just growing up and and spending the night and Nana and Papa’s is not as fun anymore, but I do miss them a lot.  I do not mean to sound like a jerk, but I do appreciate the time when my daughter can take them, this is the first time in the year since we took them in that we have been without them for a week, so yes I am looking forward to some free time for just myself and my wife. I do love my family very much, and would do anything I could for them. I hope I didn’t bore you with the book I just wrote, I just wanted you to know where I am coming from, and all the while I still have my disability and I am in constant pain, but I live with that.


As always I will close with Rusty Loves you, peace, love, happiness, and positive vibes.

The grandkids are now with their Aunt Sarah until their Mom can take them. I am going to start working on myself, I have been told by a few people that I have aged a lot in that year, even my doctor told me I have to start taking better care of myself. So my goal for 2017 is to try to get my health back in the right track. 

I have a lot of issues to work through, I will keep you all updated as hopefully I progress to better things.


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My Blog today is inspired by listening to the song Abraham, Martin, and John, by Dion

Of course I wasn’t around when Lincoln was assassinated, but I do believe hate had a lot to do with it.


A lot has happened in my short lifetime.

The Viet Nam War started when I was to young to understand it, but by the time it was over I had many friends who fought in it, and even a few who died in it. It did affect a lot of my thoughts and actions over those trying times while it was going on.

Hovering U.S. Army helicopters pour machine gun fire into the tree line to cover the advance of South Vietnamese ground troops in an attack on a Viet Cong camp 18 miles north of Tay Ninh, northwest of Saigon near the Cambodian border, in March 1965 during the Vietnam War.  (AP Photo/Horst Faas)

Hovering U.S. Army helicopters pour machine gun fire into the tree line to cover the advance of South Vietnamese ground troops in an attack on a Viet Cong camp 18 miles north of Tay Ninh, northwest of Saigon near the Cambodian border, in March 1965 during the Vietnam War. (AP Photo/Horst Faas)

At 8 years old I cried when I my teacher informed us the John F Kennedy had been assassinated. I clearly remember that day, and even though I was only 8 I remember the entire nation in morning over his death, everyone wondering what will become of our country. I also remember the sadness, and fear on my parents faces that day, pretty powerful stuff for an 8 year old.


The 60’s were a different time, a lot of changes for me too, for the most part I was too young to really understand everything, but it did effect me, as I felt I had an enquiring mind, and did pay attention to it. Times were changing I was very interested in that.

I remember the day Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, people were upset, and concerned, but not so much as when Kennedy was, I feel was the racism issue, and even though he was a very great man, he has been much more appreciated later on for all of his accomplishments, my home state was the last state out of all 50 states to recognize his birthday as a holiday. Imagine how much more he could have accomplished had he not been taken from us.


And then two months later Bobby Kennedy was assassinated, I was actually watching TV that night and the coverage, my interest in politics was just starting, and even though I was too young to vote, I was becoming more aware of it.

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In 1969 I clearly remember watching Apollo 11 landing on the moon, with my parents, and Neil Armstrong uttering those words “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” A very amazing day for me.


Then some sadness in 1970 with the Kent State shootings, as sad as that was, kind of mild to what is going on today.

In the 70’s I got married at a very young age, voted in my first presidential election, moved to CA in 1973, back to Utah in 1975, back to CA in 1976, and then back to Utah again the ned of 1977. Growing up in in the Suburbs of Salt Lake City UT, didn’t prepare me for the diversity of Southern CA, for a time my young wife and I lived in Inglewood CA across from Hollywood Park Race Track, we both had a quick education of what life was like outside of UT. I am truly thankful for the times spent in CA it not only educated me to the real world, but changed my outlook for the better. We moved back again to CA in 1981 after our middle daughter Sarah was born, stayed until June of 1997. I continued to changed over those years and I feel I am a better person for it, the hate in me grew smaller and smaller, I am so much more open minded now, and so happy with our advancements in true equality, not where I would like to see them. We have stayed in Utah since moving back in 1997, now trying to decide if this is the final place for us, not really sure yet of what to do, most likely we will stay here, who knows.

There have been a lot of tragedies that have also occured, but not enough time to discuss all of them. A lot of positive changes too, like electing our first black president, and same sex marriage becoming legal.

I can truly say I really thought we had come a long way, in regards to racism, and biases, but lately I feel we still have a very long way to go.

That brings me to the end of my blog today, I am now in a state of concern, the next 4 years really scares me, too much uncertainty. I am living on a fixed income now due to my disability, yes my wife Melia still works, but not really sure what is in stage for the two of us, is it going to get better or worse, I guess we will have to wait and see. Please no haters on this blog, we have too much hate already.

As always, Rusty Loves You, peace, love happiness, and positive vibes!

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I just do not understand why there is so much hate.

I really feel a lot of the hate we are experiencing today is generated by politicians, the government, and the media. They want to keep us divided, because a divided people are easier to control.

I know some friends of mine will not be happy when I say this, but a lot of hate is also generated by the ultra right wing conservatives, and the Tea Party.
They claim to want to re-enforce the constitution, but my question is where in the constitution does it say to hate?

Rather than put the entire constitution in here I will give you a link


When are we all going to accept the we are all humans, and that is just it. We need to quit separating us by names.

As long as it does not directly affect me, or my family who cares what you do in your own world.

I am so tired of hearing the argument that you are just exercising your religious freedom. Show me poof as to where God and any god you believe in that says it is okay to hate someone, for their race, sex, lifestyle, LBGT or anything like that.

I guess I am living a pipe dream hoping that one day we will accept everyone no matter who they are.

I just want it all to stop.

You do have the power as an individual to make some changes, change it within yourself, preach love not hate, pretty simple isn’t it.

We do not have to accept that is the way it is.

I do feel John Lennon said it all with this great song.

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Szekely Janos

As always Rusty loves you!

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