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Managing Through Change

There have been many books and articles written about change management. From Jack Welch to Peter Drucker, much has been written on how to successfully navigate through change.

As a coach working primarily with business professionals, I see the challenges leaders face as they manage change. That is because each of us approaches change in different ways based on our temperament, world view or immediate situation. Sometimes change is sudden and unexpected and sometimes well planned.

One of the things I have come to realize is that there are 4 primary stages of change. I thought as a way of sharing some of my coaching experiences – this may assist many of you as you prepare for the New Year and changes ahead.

Stage 1 – Resistance Even if we are taking on change and see the positive benefits for ourselves, we will initially feel resistance. This is because change requires us to do something different, learn something new, and behave in new ways. I can remember buying a new software application years ago and getting so frustrated in learning to install it – wondering if it was really worth it. Now of course, I buy apps for everything and it is simple.

Stage 2 – Open Once we have moved past the resistance, we begin to see new possibilities and become open to work through what is needed to realize the benefits of the change we are involved in. We begin to get curious, challenge ourselves and ask questions to understand what is needed to be successful.

Stage 3 – Practice This involves doing something new for a period of 21 days so that it seems to become “normal.” The more the change is applied, the more confidence is built and people become trusting of the new situation they find themselves in.

Stage 4 – Internalization With any change, if attitudes, behaviors and structures are in place for 21+ days, then internalization occurs. This is when people stop thinking or reacting to the change, embrace it and begin to see results and gain confidence.

In coaching leaders of organizations or even in working with family systems, this 4-stage model is reinforced again and again. A word of caution; when facing resistance, it is imperative for those leading change to remain consistent in what they are communicating and how they are behaving that will demonstrate alignment and supports the change. If there is inconsistency, well then …… you get to start the process all over again.

Managing Through Change


Managing Through Change

There have been many books and articles written about change management. From Jack Welch to Peter Drucker, much has been written on how to successfully navigate through change.

As a coach working primarily with business professionals, I see the challenges leaders face as they manage change. That is because each of us approaches change in different ways based on our temperament, world view or immediate situation. Sometimes change is sudden and unexpected and sometimes well planned.

One of the things I have come to realize is that there are 4 primary stages of change. I thought as a way of sharing some of my coaching experiences – this may assist many of you as you prepare for the New Year and changes ahead.

Stage 1 – Resistance Even if we are taking on change and see the positive benefits for ourselves, we will initially feel resistance. This is because change requires us to do something different, learn something new, and behave in new ways. I can remember buying a new software application years ago and getting so frustrated in learning to install it – wondering if it was really worth it. Now of course, I buy apps for everything and it is simple.

Stage 2 – Open Once we have moved past the resistance, we begin to see new possibilities and become open to work through what is needed to realize the benefits of the change we are involved in. We begin to get curious, challenge ourselves and ask questions to understand what is needed to be successful.

Stage 3 – Practice This involves doing something new for a period of 21 days so that it seems to become “normal.” The more the change is applied, the more confidence is built and people become trusting of the new situation they find themselves in.

Stage 4 – Internalization With any change, if attitudes, behaviors and structures are in place for 21+ days, then internalization occurs. This is when people stop thinking or reacting to the change, embrace it and begin to see results and gain confidence.

In coaching leaders of organizations or even in working with family systems, this 4-stage model is reinforced again and again. A word of caution; when facing resistance, it is imperative for those leading change to remain consistent in what they are communicating and how they are behaving that will demonstrate alignment and supports the change. If there is inconsistency, well then …… you get to start the process all over again.

Managing Through Change


My wife Melia and I attended a concert last night with a few great friends. The bands were The Doobie Brothers who started up in 1970, and after a brief hiatus from 1982 to 1987 are still going strong, and Santana who started up in 1966, and even though they have gone through numerous band member changes over the years, are still headed up by lead guitarist Carlos Santana, and since 2015, his wife on the drums Cindy Blackman Santana.

Both bands were fantastic, no boring songs, they played the music of our past, and even a few newer ones, that was mostly Santana. Cindy Blackman Santana played an awesome supercharged 15 minute drum solo that at 60 years old, was amazing, I am sure some younger drummers would have been jealous of the pace she maintained. All in all, I am sure the concert attendees like myself had a great experience to see and enjoy the music of both bands. I had never been to a Doobie Brothers concert before, and I had not seen Santana since 1972.

As I was watching I observed the many fans that were attending, my best guess was the average ages were the 55 and older crowd, it was awesome to see them all singing , dancing and moving to the music, myself being disabled, I couldn’t dance with them as much, but I definitely rocked out my very best. The pungent smell of Marijuana permeated the air more than once during the concert, but I never heard anyone complain about it. I enjoyed seeing my generation up dancing and moving, at one moment the song directed them to jump up and down, one of my friends commented,” it was amazing to see Carlos get 20,000 old farts to not only dance, but jump up and down”, I tried my best but being disabled that wasn’t in the cards for me. I am sure this morning there are many who attended that are feeling the morning pain of just being happy and dancing. Even though I am in pain today from all the walking and moving, I am sure the great experience of last night outweighs the pain I am in today, as for me I won’t forget the great time I had last night, as it brings back the memories of my youth that I am so fond of.

So everyone if you still can get out of that recliner and try to enjoy what life still has to offer, even if it means a little pain, I for one need to do that a lot more, at least when I can afford to do so.


If you look at History all the worst dictators accomplished one thing , they divided the country against itself, look at what is going on in the US right now, our country is becoming more and more divided everyday. The media is being manipulated to focus on issues to get to not pay attention to what is really going on. The GOP fully backs tRump now, they want to outlaw abortion again, they want to reverse the decision on same sex marriage, they want to levy less and less taxes in the rich, the want Christianity to be added to our constitution. They believe tRump will help them accomplish this. They new focus is to cut all so called entitlements.

They are making these changes behind our backs while the media all focus on the major news of the day/week. Look at the news, and Social Networking, what is the main focus on right now, no one is talking about the Mueller Investigation, no one is talking about the Children who now number up to 10,000 and growing, the Feds are discussing building internment camps to house them, we haven’t had internment camps in the US since WWII when we went after the Japanese. Racism is on the rise again and the racists groups have come back out in the open.

We are losing all respect in the world, yes, the stock market is strong but who really benefits by that, not the average person, that is truly a rich mans game. Yes, unemployment is low, but wages are not a the levels they need to be. Housing, and Rent costs are growing out of control, inflation is at it’s highest level in six years, and predicted to grow to 10% due to all the tariffs.

Economists are predicting another recession sometime in 2020, because the current economy is not sustainable long term.

We are insulting every person who has been sexually assaulted or raped, even attacking them.

We are reversing pollution controls, we are no longer working on development of alternative energy sources, instead going back to focusing our dependence on fossil fuels.

I for one am truly concerned about our country, we need to somehow spread this concern across our country, that we are headed for disaster!

Okay time to get off of my soapbox.

Please feel free to copy and share.


Just some thoughts today:

There are a lot of individuals out there today going through various struggles in their lives, some our physical, and visible, some are physical, and not visible at all. There are also people going through mental struggles, but we all have one thing in common, these struggles affect our daily lives, they are all life changing.

Sometimes we share our issues with our family, friends, and on Social Networks. I feel the reasons we share them, are not just to get sympathy, but for support of what we are going through, to also hear that others are experiencing similar struggles. Yes, life gives us all challenges, some experience greater challenges than others, some handle it differently than others. Most of us are really trying to get through this the best way we can. There are sadly even some who not only contemplate suicide, but even those who actually go though with it.

I am not here to say I have not thought about it, I have, but I would never do that to my wife, and family. The support and concern from others helps yet get past the suicidal thoughts, if that doesn’t help, some people need to get professional help to get through these thoughts.

The worst thing a person crying out needs to hear is “Suck it up, Buttercup,” “it is what it is.”

No one wants to get sick, no one wants to be disabled, no one wants to be on disability. All I ask is you try to see the world through their eyes, spending so much much time alone, giving up your freedom to drive, going out to public events, and trying to find things to entertain them, and help them have healthy thoughts.

If you want to really help, find out what they need, sometimes it could be just a nice phone conversation, even better yet, a visit just to talk, you see we spend a lot of time alone, and that is when the bad thoughts start coming into your head.

As for me , ore I once led a very social life, in my former job I was an upper level manager, traveled all over the country, talked to people from all walks of life, I really miss that. I miss being the bread winner for my family. All that has changed, my biggest struggle is the feelings of worthlessness.

Okay so I have opened up a little to you today, if this doesn’t help you understand more about me, maybe it will help you understand more about someone else you might know who is going through similar life challenges. If you don’t care that is fine to, just don’t say things that insult us.


The other day I read a story about being the best Father you can be, it really made me think, maybe I wasn’t such a great father.

I tried to be a good father, I worked very hard to provide for my family, I didn’t have a college degree, and I wanted to go into management, so I did what ever it took to get ahead. Once I got into management my hours were long , twelve to sixteen hour days, and to top that off, we lived in Southern California so I had a 45 mile commute each way. I made the mistake of making my priorities of providing a new home, and material things for my family, and not really being there for them like I should have. I wanted all three of my girls to have the best opportunities available to them in regards to schooling, and life, but in the end I wasn’t there.

I do have three wonderful daughters, and a great wife, but I clearly made mistakes along the way, that I wish I could take back. The story I could talk about would take too long to go over it all.

My daughters all have their own families now, and I love them all very much, but the last six years have not been the greatest for me, and now I am disabled, with health issues of my own, and I wish I could do more for them than I can physically or monetarily. And it’s hard to accept, sometimes I feel like a failure.

Time to good bye for now, see you on my blog later. Peace, love, happiness, and positive vibes.

Always remember Rusty loves you!


I haven’t made an entry into my blog for quite some time, I decided to take a little time and talk about this last year and the depression that goes along with it. First of all, let me state that I am not trying to cry about my life, we are dealt we get, it is what it is. But it does help to talk about it sometimes.

Around the first of April my middle  daughter got into a car accident, she was going home in the wee hours after delivering newspapers, it was raining heavily her car hydroplaned spun out of control and she hit the retaining wall, thank god her car was newer and all the airbags successfully deployed, and other than being scared half to death she came out of it with a few bumps, bruises, and was very sore for a few weeks. Unfortunately, her car was totaled and the insurance only covered paying off the loan. She and her husband have had to settle for an older car, but at least she is alive.

On April 13th my wife and I were dropping off some food for a food bank drive at a friends house, they have a heavily sloped driveway and upon leaving, I had gone out first to follow my friend to their church where they were storing their food donations. I started the car put it in reverse and it wouldn’t move because the emergency brake was still on. I don’t usually set it, so I had trouble finding the release, I put the car in park climbed out to look under the dash to fin the brake release, my wife had come out and was just opened her door to get in, when I hit the brake release, the car went into reverse knocked her over, and the right front tire ran over her left leg, while this was happening I held on to the car, it dragged me approximately 25 feet, and when I let go it ran over both of my legs with the left front tire. My wife suffered major muscle damage to her left thigh, but no broken bones, I had major road rash on my right leg from the dragging, cuts, and bruises to both legs, and fractured my left fibula. We were both out of commission for three weeks, my wounds got infected and took much longer to heal, and I had to go to wound therapy to aid in the healing process, my wounds are basically healed now, but I still suffer pain from the accident.

A week after that our oldest daughter had stopped by to visit her two ailing parents, she stayed longer than normal and left around 11:00 PM to go home. On her way home as she was getting off of the freeway, and a man jumped in her car pointed a gun to her head and made her drive to a secluded park where he brutally sexually assaulted her. he cut off her clothing and then took a knife and started cutting her all over her body, he was getting ready to rape her when a car pulled into the parking lot and scared him away. This was very devastating to her and the family, and she will take a long to heal mentally from the incident.

In June after a brief trip to CA to celebrate my sister and her husbands 50th anniversary, my wife got appendicitis, she had to have emergency surgery to have her appendix removed, and was down another three weeks.

Then after thinking our youngest had escaped all the disasters that have hit our family this yer, she gets into an accident, it wasn’t her fault and her car was totaled. She is still fighting to get the insurance money so he can get a replacement car. She is a single parent raising three kids, on a low paying job, so she doesn’t have a lot of places to turn to, and without the insurance money, she has no way to get a car.

Then I came down with cellulitis in my left foot, which laid me up for 7 weeks, it is getting better now, but not 100% yet.

Needless to say, this experience has left us emotionally exhausted and also wit new medical bills to pay for.

I really miss the days before I became disabled, I could do more for my family than I can do now, right now I can only give them my love and support.

So that is why I am depressed, I need something to brighten my days and help me look forward to better things in the coming year.

So that is it, for now, hopefully, things will improve looking forward. As always Rusty Loves you!