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Archive for August, 2016


I am having a lot of deep thoughts today. 

I am really starting to struggle with my situation,  not sure where to turn. 

We have had our the three youngest grandchildren living with us since March of this year (2016). It hasn’t been easy. These kids have led a life of hell, bouncing around between the Mother, Father, my oldest daughter, and now us. They have been subjected to mental abuse, medical neglect,  and prior to us taking them, they lived with their Dad, Grandmother, Uncle and his girlfriend in a two room motel for 6 months. The oldest child has ADD, the middle child bowel issues, (which their father neglected to do anything about), and the youngest is autistic.  So needless to say they all have major issues that we are addressing.

Their mother,  our daughter is slowly getting her life together to be able to take care of them. Their father occasionally gives us money,  but hasn’t taken the time to see them or talk to them since the 21st of May. They are all a handful and Melia and I really struggle with taking care of them, we have done our best to provide them a good home, structure, and a normal a life as possible.  We have taken care of their medical needs,  we have all three of them in counseling, but lately there are days when this all becomes just too much to handle. You see as grandparents  we should be able to visit them, have them come and stay a few days,  and in general, spoil them. Not raise them! If that sounds crass, it was not meant too, but I raised my kids, did the best job we could, and was looking forward to a life in our later years of what we planned. Yes, we have good times with them, and I truly cherish those moments,  but with my wife working full time, and me being disabled with neuropathy,  I don’t sleep very well,  and I am in constant pain at levels from a rating of 2 to a 10, right now my pain level is at an 8. 

My dad is also having a rough time lately,  two weeks ago he was placed in hospice care, with all that going on with him, it has added a new level of stress in our lives.  

So there you have it, my current life in a nutshell,  and not sure where to turn to next. 

I just want things to go back to a relatively pace of normalcy. Please don’t be mad at me, or chastise  me, just understand it is very hard to remain strong through all of this. 

I really do love my family and my three beautiful grandchildren,  but sometimes I just want to scream!

Well time for me to stop, always remember Rusty loves you!

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Blessed are they who understand

My faltering step and shaking hand.

Blessed are they who know my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.

Blessed are they who seem to know
My eyes are dim and my answers slow.

Blessed are they who look away
When my tea was spilled at the table today.

Blessed are they who with a cheery smile
Will stop to chat for a little while.

Blessed are they who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today.”

Blessed are they who know my ways
And bring back memories of yesterdays.

Blessed are they who ease the days
And care for me in loving ways.

Blessed are they who make it known
I’m loved, respected and not alone.

Author Unknown

                               
                   

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It has been a while since I posted to my blog, so busy taking care of my three youngest grandkids,  I don’t have much spare time these days.  I also still have to keep busy doing all my regular stuff, which includes taking care of our house,  preparing most of the meals, and keeping up with the special requests by my wife. 

Yesterday I put up a new ceiling fan in our bedroom,  this used to be a simple task for me, but with my neuropathy not so much anymore.  Today I am in major pain, and I just need to rest,  but as they say no rest for the wicked.

I am trying to be relaxed and less political these days, not the easiest ask to do. More about peace, love, happiness, and positive vibes. 

I really am trying hard to be a better person, stay positive,  upbeat,  and not complain about things, but sometimes it is hard to not complain, on days like today when the pain is almost unbearable,  and you just want to cry, but I do my next to remain strong. 
Oh well life goes on, and I don’t expect it to beveryone perfect. 
Just always remember Rusty loves you!

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